Consulting Mindset in Communication
Consulting Mindset:
We all have gone to a doctor at some point in our life. How a doctor consulted us. Asking a few questions related to the problem, understanding it at some level, and then prescribing the medicine and test accordingly.
Similarly, having a consultative mindset helps us in problem-solving where there is conflict in opinion and communication. Let’s understand why opinions vary.
Why opinions vary: I have heard many people say “I don’t listen to anyone”. Is this really practical to implement? If we really don’t listen to anyone then how can we expect them to listen to us? Or in a simple way how can we expect something that we ourselves cannot give to others.
We all are human beings but different in personalities and beliefs because of different bringing, cultures and personal experience.
No matter what our cultures or beliefs may be, it is our choice whether we want to listen or not.
Despite having different beliefs and preconceived notions about others, you should start open communication. Open Communication allows us to express what we have inside our mind and helps us feel relaxed, making a deep relationship between both parties.
Now let’s understand the role of consulting in communication- 3 step process
Listen: The way a consulting person asks about the problem you should ask some Questions in Open communication Which includes:
What is his/her opinion?
Why only that opinion (based on experiences)
How it is different from yours’
The most important thing I learned from my personal experience is that everyone wants others to listen to them and understand. When you sincerely listen to other persons’ points, He/she will also listen to you resulting in deep understanding.
Note: while having open communication you should always listen to them by putting yourself into his or her shoes. It helps you to understand another person’s situation better. Moreover, listening should be unbiased.
Understand: I overheard a word called “understanding” by a lady talking to my mother when I was in school. She was describing understanding with her husband. I started thinking about what this understanding is and how it is developed.
Understanding is also a two-way process. It’s not only you have to understand but you also have to make other person understand your perspective. Let me share a personal experience:
My mother and I developed understanding between us just because of open communication resulting in deep trust. We both have different bringing, nature beliefs, and also a generation gap, Still we are deeply connected because we both understand each other’s perspective related to any topic.
Bonding and trust can only be developed through communication and understanding each other’s perspectives along with a suitable change when needed.
Note: The more you stick to your beliefs the more it is difficult to change the perspective.
Communicate: Now that you have listened and understand others’ perspectives it’s time for both the parties to come to mutual consent.
For example: two people have different perspectives related to marriage. One says : we should never get married
On the other hand, another one says: Marriage is important and we should get married.
Now what can be the mutual consent here??
Marriage is all about responsibility that is managed by both Husband and wife.
A person should get married only If he/she considers himself/herself fit to take the responsibility of marriage.
Note: The mutual consent should be fact based and generally acceptable.
Conclusion
Conversation is the only thing that we all do from the start of the day till going to bed. Being aggressive in communication leads to difficult situations resulting in tough relations and lack of understanding. This in turn leads us to live an unhappy and unhealthy life.
We can only have a consulting mindset in communication only when we are calm and composed. It will help us to understand the reason for the other person’s anger and manage the situation in a better way.
Managing tough conversations in the best way possible will give you pleasure in handling a situation better. Moreover, you will live a healthier and happier life.
Neha Singh